• What I said: Watch this show it's really good
  • What I meant: For the love of God please watch this I need friends who understand my pain I need someone to talk about it with that hasn't heard all my opinions a billion times please I am begging you


she reaches down seductively. I guide her hand to my zipper. she unzips my fanny pack by mistake. raviolis spill out everywhere

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(via 500px / Elephants at Dusk by Sean Crane)


never doubt my ability to watch the same episode of something ten thousand times and remain just as interested and entertained every single time


if someone’s happy doing their strange weird thing and they’re not hurting anybody then that’s really awesome and you should just let them be and maybe even be glad for them

so many people are scared shitless to show anybody what makes them happy or excited because there are so many people eager to point and laugh


i have so many inside jokes with myself its embarrassing


i was so ugly in 2008 because i didnt care about my looks i cared about the jonas brothers

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when i was 9 i wrote a love letter to cole sprouse and closed my eyes and threw it out the car window thinking it’d magically find him and wow i did not understand the united states postal system 

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Even our toilets are sarcastic in the UK
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as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them

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